Today I slept in until my back began to ache. I sat up, groaned, and then stood up. The cat must have heard me, because she began to meow her little furry head off. Yes, Wretchin' Gretchen is awake and ready to puke on the carpet. I put on a robe, walked down the hall, like some monster from a silent movie, and slipped into the bathroom. A few minutes later I washed my hands, and looked for the cat. Too late, she has already managed to barf on the carpet. Normally I wouldn't care, but I did shampoo it on Friday. I mumble a few choice four letter words at her, and proceed to clean up her mess, AGAIN.

 
Well it's friday. I cannot find the show called Wonder Falls. It seems that they have moved it to another day, and didn't tell me. Well that's the last straw, heads will roll, heads will ROLL! Sorry, I've had way too much caffeine today. Yup, over three liters of soda pop. At least I'm awake...

 
It was about 11:11-pm when I took off all of my clothes, except for my flip-flops, and ran NAKED through the women's section of Nordstroms, here in Salt Lick City, Utah. Nobody seemed to notice me, or even call security. So I went downstairs to the food court, and demanded a tripple cheeseburger without buns. I got it, and ran away. The clerk at the food court simply shrugged, and went back to work. What does a guy have to do to get arrested in this one horse city?...

A P R I L - F O O L S

 
Wednesday's Blog

On wednesday I found out that Star Trek : Enterprise, Buffy The Vampire Killer, Smallville, and Angel, were all re-runs! @#$%^&*! Pardon my french. Look, I don't mind seeing one or two re-runs a year, but just like a vampire, I like fresh meat! What a let down...

Thursday's Blog

Today is genealogy class. Durring class I almost fell asleep because I have sleep apnea. I was on the second row from the front, and couldn't stay completely awake. I started nodding off, and finally had to tilt my head back against the hard wood pew. Since classes are held in a church building, I was also having a guilt trip...

 
Today I need to buy gasoline for the car. The flippin' cost of gas has almost gone up to $2.oo per gallon! Darn those oil companies. Actually, as fate would have it, Americans have it fairly good, in terms of cost of fuel. Most other countries have to pay up to US$5.oo per gallon of gas. So I really shouldn't complain.

 
It's Monday again, and that means gargabe day. But in the mean time however, I'll be searching the Internet for LYRICS to use as a source for my future PARODY LYRICS. So far I have about 100+ lyrics that are ready to be published, and another 1,200+ misc. lyrics which I work on in my spare time. I make fun of almost everything, such as : Religion, daily life, holidays, job occupations, bodily functions, and weird things in general. What are Parody Lyrics? Think of Weird Al Yankovick, Dr. Demento, and Spike Jones. My work is along similar lines.

 
Today is Sunday, and that means that I had to get up at 6-am to drive someone to church by 9-am. Now you're wondering why it takes so long for me to get up, and get ready. Well it's simple, I need an hour to get over the shock of getting up, and then I need another two hours to get up to speed. Any questions?...

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