If I were SMART, what would I want to do with my life? Hmmmmmm...

I would go back in time (assuming I had a time machine) to when I was about age 17, and start looking for a college or university to attend. Then, after graduating from high school, I would pick a community college for the first year, or two, of my studies, just to get things going. My goal would be to work towards an Associates Degree in whatever area I was interested in. For me, however, it would most likely be in a computer related field. This means that every two years I would graduate from college with a degree. I could have a part time job to bring in some money, and focus my energy on graduating every two years. If I get board with a certain college or university, I can always find a different one to go to. This is true of most ‘college towns’ or cities throughout the USA.

Why pick a community college, as opposed to an Ivory College? Simple, they are inexpensive, and if I make a mistake, I can always afford to re-take the same class, but this time with another teacher. Having a new or different teacher will give me a fresh perspective on the class in question. Also, if I re-take the failed class in question, I will still have it in my mind, and I should be able to find, and make the required corrections to my homework, and also to my tests. So, when all is said and done, it might actually take me once every three years, to get an Associates Degree from college. I could live with that. Too bad I don’t have a time machine...

 
FRIDAY's BLOG:
Yesterday I took someone to the hospital, and waited until the patient had been examined and released. While waiting I was lucky enough to watch CNN on the TV. At least I tried to watch it. There was a little rug-rat running around the waiting room, trying to hide from his foster parents. The nurses thought it was cute, but I was really getting annoyed by it. Do you remember the phrase: ‘Children should be seen, and not heard’? Well here’s the new version of that old phrase: ‘Children should be comatose, and not moving’. Oh sure, they’re suppose to be a delight and a blessing, but this one was an irritation, and pain in the eardrum! I recommend that nurses give these little buggers a sedative in hopes of preserving the sanity of the adults, like me. It’s either that, or else lights-out for that over active bundle of JOLT. You know what I mean....

 
In my spare time I like to surf the Internet, and look for weird and unusual stuff, HOWEVER, there are times when I also like to look for useful crap as well. One of the things that I would like to be able to buy, is a new DVD-RW unit for each of my computer systems! No kidding, these little buggers hold about four times (4x) the amount of memory of one CD-ROM. The average cost of a DVD-RW unit is fairly close to US$1,000.oo. In a few years the price should drop to about half, and maybe I’ll be able to afford one, or two…

Will DVD-RW units become obsolete? Yes. Every computer related thing has it’s day in the sun, but then it quickly becomes yesterday’s news, and this will happen to DVD RW units too. I suspect that if a software compression program (like WinZip) were used to compact the data, or music or movies, that a person could store about twice the amount on one DVD-RW unit. But let’s be realistic about this. I am guessing that the MP3 technologies will become integrated into computer systems, and people will have small removable 20-GB drives to store programs and interact with them. I also suspect that the amount of the removable drives will have sizes up to about 900-GB, but will remain about the size of a pack of cigarettes. That will be a few years down the road… Wouldn't it be cool to have a FAST hard drive, with about 2,500-GB to work with? You could upload and download every known program that you could lay your hands on. You could store music, movies, text, programming, and whatever you wanted!

 
WEDNESDAY's BLOG:
You know you’ve got BACK PROBLEMS when...

You tie your shoes, and then your back breaks
You bend down to pick up a penny, and then you cannot stand up again
You sneeze, and then you have to call 911 to get muscle relaxants
You put a sweater on, and then fall over backwards
Your friend pats you on the back, and then you start screaming
You sit in your car, but you cannot close the door, as a large Grizzly Bear charges towards you
You jump for joy, and your spinal column collapses
You’re watching sports, and try to do the ‘wave’, but something snaps...

By the way, I have back problems.

 
One of the things that I do in my spare time is write my original PARODY LYRICS. I find popular songs, usually the one which are in the top 25 of their group, and then change and rearrange all of the words into something funny. Think of me as the un-sung Weird Al of Utah. At one time I about 1,200 original parody lyrics, but I got mad because I could not afford to publish them, so I shredded them, and burned the shreds of paper. That was almost ten years ago. During the last few years I have started over. I am once again beginning to rebuild my collection of original parody lyrics, one by one.

I make fun of everything, however, my favorite topic which I like to lampoon is Christmas! I hate it’s commercialism, it’s in-your-face products, and those stupid songs which people sing each and every year of their lives! I hate being asked to play Santa. I can’t stand that fat bugger, and his army of elves. While we’re on the subject, how do those ‘magical’ reindeer lift that fat bloated blob into the air? I’m guessing that he must be an alien from another planet, and the elves are actually his illegitimate children.

Well anyway, let’s get back to my original parody lyrics. I currently have just over 100 original parody lyrics, and I hope to find some way of funding their publishing. I would like to start out by publishing a booklet, or songbook, with all of my original parody lyrics listed by rating. (G, PG, R, X) Then within each rating the songs would be listed alpha-numerically. You’re probably wondering why I write some of my original parody lyrics in the X category. Simple, some readers want their parody with extra spice included. On second thought, however, I might have to publish those X rated parody lyrics separately from the others…

 
Did I mention that I had received notice that I had to be available for JURY DUTY? True. Between November 1st and December 31st of this year, I might be called upon to sit and sit, and sit some more, while listening to lawyers talk about crimes and technicalities. My problem is that I could fall asleep too easily, after all, I do have Sleep Apnea. Also, I snore loudly, and would not be able to hide my inability to stay awake. I can imagine myself being sent to the pokie (jail) for not paying attention to the testimony. Well perhaps I could get a good night's sleep, unless 'Bubba' happens to be my cell MATE...

 
I’d like to make a few SUGGESTIONS. I would like to see an actual Search Engine on BLOG web pages. It should be able to search for keywords, members, site names, and even have a manual search which lists site names by alphabet. I know that it is possible, and I know that it should be available to the ‘free’ users. Anyway, those are my suggestions. What do you think?...

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