Recently I downloaded an animated adult sci-fi comedy called: TRIPPING THE RIFT. It was an adult parody of Star Trek & Star Wars. The captain of a small spaceship was travelling through space, and was attacked by a DARK CLOWN. Yea, I know… Anyway, this clown of a villain beams himself on board, and also brings some troops with him. The troops are Star Wars idiots, and all of them are accidentally killed, by the Dark Clown himself. The captain’s first mate is beautiful bombshell of an alien, and will bare all to please her captain. She also tricks the evil Dark Clown, and helps her captain win the battle over the Dark Clown, and his forces. Now that’s my kind of babe… I was able to find this animation by searching the VIDEO section of KaZaA, and typing in the keywords: Parody, Comedy, Humor, Satire, Sarcasm, or other related keywords. You should be at least 21 to download this animated treasure.

 
Do you remember Al Bundy from Married With Children? Do you remember how bad his feet smelled? You know, he had really really BAD stinking feet. Well this summer I have been wearing flip-flops around the house. Oh sure, my feet look like they belong to Herman Munster, but they smell even worse! No kidding! A relative of mine stopped by for some lunch, but lost her appetite when she got a whiff of foot stink. If scientists could isolate the stink cells, then they could mix it with Mace©, and make it four times more effective. Hey, I wonder if I could get royalties from something like that…

 
Well today is Laundry Day. Oh joy… This is the day when I have to decide, which clothing can be washed with other clothing. How light is those light shirt? Are my socks dark enough for the dark batch? What about this fabric, and that bleach, and those temperatures? You know, there are times when I wonder if mankind should remain UNCLOTHED, at least during the summer months. It would cut down on laundry bills, and people would really begin to exercise more. Of course the flip side to that is that mailmen would really worry about dogs attacking them… You know what I mean. So I guess that I will continue to wear clothes, and as I walk down the sidewalks of my suburb, and I’ll wonder what could have been.

 
Well today is HUMP DAY... Who was is that named Wednesday with that name? I hate to say it, but there are some things that come to mind when I hear that name. Camels, with one hump or two. Mountain ranges with hills which could be referred to as humps. Do you remember the Hunch Back of some old movie? You know the one. It's the one where this BIG overweight hump of a man, hides out from the public, and then falls in love with a cheer leader, or something. I don't know, it's been a few dozen years ago since I've seen the movie. So anyway, I am guessing that Wednesday was named after that dude. Oh sure, I could be wrong, and I might not have any of the facts, but hey, I'm always ready to make a snap decision about HUMP DAY. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it...

 
Why do I hate Country and-or Western songs? Well it’s quite simple really. Those people are tone deaf oafs, who cannot seem to speak normal English. The word ‘ain’t’ is not a proper English word, and it bugs the living heck out of me! If this isn’t bad enough, most of the country and-or western songs tell how some dumb idiot lost his job, and his girlfriend/wife/sheep, and his house, and his truck, and his dog… If I were God, that idiot would first lose his ability to speak and sing. And if he were to listen to country and-or western songs, he would go slowly deaf; let’s say over a period of about six months. When I was a teenager, I had lived in a place where people actually thought that country and-or western songs were cool. ARRRGG! We had only two radio stations, one played country music, and the other played western music. Needless to say, I had to buy my music when I was OUT of town… Later, as nearby populations grew, I was able to find an NPR station, which had classical music, British comedy, British news, and a fresh perspective on things in general. Once in a while I was able to tune in music from distant cities, usually during the middle of the night. This meant I could hear rock-and-roll songs! So when most people were doing the complicated 2-step country-western dance, I was listening to classical music, or Motown, or something NORMAL. Now I’m doing much better now…

 
Today I read the paper, to find a really good Blog to work at. Most of the Blogs want people who have college degrees. Oh sure, I have a high school diploma, but the darn Blog wanted MORE. I cannot get a good Blog without a college degree, and I cannot get a college degree without a good Blog to pay for it. It's catch-22 folks. Some the Blogs that I’ve had in the past were real Bloggers. One Blog was at a motel, as a night auditor. The hours were crappy, and the pay wasn’t too great either, but it beats unemployment! Another Blog was at a hardware store, but the manager was a real tool… Anyway, I’ll keep looking for a Blog, but it doesn’t seem promising to me.

 
Am I going to Heaven? Uh…no. Seriously, why should I be so lucky to pass through those pearly gates, if I haven’t lived up to my own expectations of what a good person should be? No, I haven’t killed anybody, or chopped off any body parts, and yet I haven’t made a worthwhile contribution to this world. My ‘expectations’ for myself are too high for me to hope to reach in my lifetime. The best that I can really hope for, is an existence in the less painful parts of Hell. For me, Hell is filled with all of the annoying, irritating, and mind numbing crap, that usually bugs the heck out of me. Things like country and/or western music, blood draws, people passing gas without regret, no usable computer systems, and grotesque food, like cow brains… There are dozens, no, HUNDREDS of other things that I could mention, but I think that you get the idea. If I were lucky enough to go to Heaven, I would have an expandable house, with new computers in every room, even the bathroom! I would look and feel great, and be able to learn and remember the things that I need to know, as well as the things that I want to know. But since I’m not going there, I should be planning for a bleak and meager existence in the deep, dark, dank bowels of you know where…

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